Key to Happiness

 On multiple occasions everyday we think that we are not meant to be in the situation and should run away from it. After some time a different personality kicks in which keeps insisting that running away is cowardly and pushes us to be in the unhappy state, forcing us to smile even in the worst of the situations. I am not too sure today whether staying in the same situation or getting out of it, which one would qualify as cowardice. Most of us live unhappy throughout our lives not able to do what we wish to do because the need of making others happy is so high that we compromise our own happiness in the process. I'm no exception. I have been trying to be the person who is accepted by everyone and loved by everyone though at the back of the mind I know I don't want to be that person. I tell everyone I come across that we should live for ourselves but preach and practice are very different at times difficult to follow.

I try to write down everything to reiterate what is that I desire and I want it to be etched across my heart. We have been brought up in such a society where your success and hard work is attributed to someone else's sacrifice. Do I have any  contribution to reach where I am. Or all credits to someone somewhere in this world for every single one of your achievements. Is it fair? It is like receiving an Oscar and telling the world who all you are thankful to, not a single person ever said I'm here because of my talent and hard-work. These questions keep cropping up in my mind often. Though I know it is unfair to be on the receiving end, I still am there without trying to get out of that space. Is this  procrastination or the fear of loss building up in my core. I don't know why validation is so important to me, must be to alot of us. And the people we look for validation are the same people who get the unequivocal right to hurt us. I feel it is my incapability that I'm unable to protest this kind of behaviour. I'm wired to feel it is my mistake that they are unhappy and they are right to feel this way because I don't have to the right to be happy.

Do I actually have no right to be happy? No, that is being selfish and we are told since childhood that being selfish is a sin. So eventually doing something for yourself to be happy is to be selfish. You are now fighting with your inner self justifying this situation. The mental conditioning in our families since childhood makes me think like this. In the past couple days I have suddenly come to terms that my happiness is important and it is my first priority. I try to be more open to things around me which make me happy. Trying very hard to do this as this was not me for the past many years. But I keep reiterating the fact that I have the right to be happy and I  shouldn't feel sorry to feel good. 

I don't belong to this generation "GenZ", I meet a lot of them. Many would say a lot about them and at times I also find very hard to connect with them (don't understand their lingo for sure). But what I know about these kids is that they are very sorted. They know how to be happy and move away from things which do not make them happy. Our generation tries finding fault in their behavior because we couldn't be like them when we were their age. But honestly there is no perfect time to start and you can start just today. Learn to be happy because happiness comes in small packets in the midst of this vast ocean called life.