How people just become a part of your life unexpectedly

I really can't think of anything but to write about this today. This struck me when one of my colleagues left the job and I didn't know when we will meet again. I went home thinking about these two wonderful ladies who came into my life accidentally (most of them do), but these two I never thought would even be anywhere near friends.

OK, let me shout at the top of my voice and tell nobody spoke to me for the first few weeks. I really feel bugged when I feel I'm not being noticed (whatever you call that). Then one of the ladies became my travel buddy and we touched a cord somewhere and we were talking. She is much younger than but all of you now na I am so young at heart, I refuse to grow up :P. We used to wait to talk to each other and it was blissful. Then Karma acted bitch and we did not get time due to our work schedules. It is killing, your best friend to bitch about everything at work and life is no more with you. You talk to other friends really doesn't give the comfort because they don't know who you are talking about. In the meanwhile I had another lady who had the weirdest jokes to crack, I was like really most of the time, I don't understand like you. But then suddenly I didn't realize when we were talking and the best bitching. It got me going and I was like I really like you. This lady also being younger than me (don't think that I am old, they are just younger). We clicked and I gave her the worst ideas in life as usual being me. And worst she took some seriously, ha ha ha. I thank both of them for making my work life  albeit other things a little easier.

But, what I felt yesterday just made me think over it again and again. Never knew when we met, when we started talking, and most importantly when we become friends. Some things just happen and not under our control, for all three of us the most unusual place to meet (most unusual for me). I never knew these girls and rest the case of being friends. We think so much about tomorrow about things which most probably can never be controlled and luckily we don't stress ourselves over friendship. Some things are just free to enjoy in life, so just enjoy them. And just like friendship try to uncomplicate other things in life.

PS: Lesson learnt yesterday, will try exercising it

Three Things Not to do at Work

Hey Friends, Monday makes me think about work... Ha ha ha! People talk about what to do at work, now because I am me, I talk about what not to do at work. No sugar-coated words coming here, I have been labelled a difficult person at work. And I am just going to talk about the things which I have faced in my work life and I follow truthfully.

• Don't take it from anyone:  If you are and inexperienced doesn't mean you can't say anything right. Taking it from your superiors is just not done when you have not done anything wrong. I believe that a true team leader will never do anything which makes you look wrong. Yes, they are humans and do lose it sometimes but that will never be public. I have been scolded (literally) n number of times for my mistakes, I took it with grace and learnt from it. I am ready to be scolded again and again for my mistakes. But, hello I will not agree to everything you say just because you are my boss or superior, prove it to me before you want me to agree. And if you try giving s***, I just know how to give it back to you (I am waiting with a catapult). It will not only make you visible to people around you, they will think twice before messing up with you.
• Don't say a Yes to please someone: It is good to be diplomatic, but just following "Boss is always right" will not take you anywhere. In colloquial and crude terms this is called buttering. Not that you will not make it through easily, you might but trust me all your colleagues hate you (I at least do it religiously, I can smell such people from distance). And yes to your surprise tomorrow one of your colleagues just might become your boss (worst case scenario) or your boss you have been greasing all this while is not with the company any more (very possible scenario). It becomes really difficult after a certain time because your boss would just look at you for support in almost all the wrong things and you are done if it is sc***ing your colleagues. Wow! I can't even imagine beyond this, OK stop!!
• Don't make people your stepping stone: This sounds really philosophical, but Karma is a bitch what goes definitely comes back (I agree every word). I'm not saying because I want to sound nice but in the long run it really doesn't help. You get too many enemies in the run which I don't think is a very good strategy, you would surely agree. I don't ask that you need to be best friends with anybody at work, it doesn't work like that for sure. But pulling someone down doesn't really put at a better place it is just a pseudo phase someone else who might be more cunning than you will do it the same. Instead of focusing on pulling people down, work towards two things one is pulling yourself up and not becoming one's stepping stone. It will keep you engaged and more alert (even you would not fight your conscience).

I wasn't so bad (feeling proud, grinning). The list is definitely not this small but good to start with. Will love to hear from you guys, open to hearing your feelings on this.

Optimism or Pessimism

I have been told many a times stop behaving like a pessimist. Hello!! I'm not a pessimist, I am just critical. Life is not lack and white, it is 50 shades of grey. I don't believe anyone is 100% of anything, it is overdoing then. And surely something is wrong with you if you think you are 100% (is it ego or ignorance, judge for yourself). Now, you would be smiling to yourself because you know what I am saying is the truth.

No one in the true sense an optimist who feels everything is just perfect and fine, so yes all the people who feel in the pessimistic category please feel good about it. Things are not always perfect, and finding a fault with something or acting critical is not wrong. When people tell you that you are pessimistic towards life it is mostly because they are not able to handle the truth, ha ha ha. I fight back (not hitting and all) every time someone says man can't you take anything simply and be happy about it. No dude, I can't take, it is a part of me to analyse things how small they might be. I call it being realistic, what's wrong. Never lose yourself just because someone thinks you are not doing things their way. You have the fundamental right to voice out your feelings.

Honestly, I hate pessimists not because they think otherwise but for the fact most of them are so afraid to take risks in life just in the fear of losing. Looking at a situation, listing pros and cons is good but looking only at the cons, instead of weighing both is just not done. It is said that riskier it is the better the returns (also higher the losses). Just don't find reasons not to do anything, if you don't like anything change it don't wait. Just like Nike says "Just do it". Everything cannot be measured in life and even the most calculated decisions fail in life, then why not do something some times. And failure is just the stepping stone for success. (Too much philosophy coming out now)

Optimist or pessimist or realist (dimension added by me), don't stop from doing things. Analyse your options before you start (it is not very wise to make stupid mistakes which could be avoided). Being critical is good but over doing is like drinking all the medicine at once.

PS: I try following what I just said, difficult though, but trying is the essence.

Love Yourself

The mantra for the day goes "Love yourself more than anything else". Sounding selfish, goooood... Be Selfish. Though nobody told me I'm selfish, I will like to say that I would love to be selfish. Dear if you don't love yourself who will. Loving oneself brings the confidence in us which people around us can see and they start respecting you for who you are. It's like help yourself.

A person who has love for oneself will definitely have self-respect for oneself, which I as a person think is the backbone of any successful person. I honestly cannot even talk to a person who has no self-respect. I am sorry, you expect me to respect you when you can't respect yourself??? No, dude doesn't happen this way. I may be polite but please don't mistake it to be respect. Apart from this love for yourself will help you with reasons why you love yourself, is it beauty, smartness, optimism, fighter spirit or something else (Caution: Assess yourself on the right parameters, at least don't lie to yourself). You will be able to list a minimum of 3 good things about you in the worst case, not bad huh, you can use this in your next job interview with conviction (good na). And well some bad things might come up too, now don't be old school, like getting angry is bad, it's not that bad always showing your anger at the right time and the right place will get things going with you. The measure is how much and the control parameters, how much does it hurt you and what is the control. Please don't take a stick and go start hitting people around you and take my name for that matter, I will not go help you with a bail (I love myself).

People who love themselves are successful, because the decisions they take in life keeps them in priority before anything else. Remember Jab We Met's Geet, she was happy because she loved herself and her success parameters were simple be happy & get married, she did land up with the hero ;). Now let me talk about myself, I always have high respect for myself but didn't actually love myself I feel. And I feel that somewhere I doubted myself on my abilities due to this. I have been a fairly bright kid throughout my life (don't look at my report card), but never felt that I could make it big in my life. I don't blame myself completely for this because nobody told me that I am capable and I should love myself for that. It took me a lot of time to realize, man I'm better than a huge lot of people around me (though I don't profess comparison of two human beings, it is an insult to the human race- every damn person on this earth is unique).

Our value systems teach us "Love thy neighbor" and like every person I believed they are smart and they know it better than me and someone's selfish is a crime. If being selfish does good to me why shouldn't I do it, my question. We all are selfish in some way only thing is we don't accept it because selfish is a negative word. I believe every quality is good in its own sweet way but when present in extremes will bring the worst out of you. Love should not become self-obsession & selfishness should not reach a level when people around you are hurt.

PS: Please use your own judgement while practicing and professing what is written, the writer will not be liable for your actions :)

My Personal Grid

One of my friends said “Hey, I liked your post… I think you should talk about your grid and where one falls” I was like “Yes, can be done but…. It might be too personal for me or the other person”. Then comes the savior ‘Bollywood’- “All characters in this film are fictional and any resemblance to any person living or dead is co-incidence”. LOL... Well, this exercise will put me at a risk of exposure to the reader, but yeah I’m not a saint I will not tell you all (this will be just a movie trailer).

As said earlier I come across a lot of people in my life, and have never stopped myself from knowing them. So, let’s start with the day I was born (way back), I came in contact with my family, trust me at times I feel I am not anybody they would have wanted in their lives. Okay jokes apart, yes I am very different from my parents, they are simple people with simple needs and expectations in life and me definitely not SIMPLE. I love them, care for them & do it my entire life, maybe tuned to do so you will say but I would say by choice. I love to do it. They actually taught me to love and care unconditionally.

Now, moving to the next section of life where we meet the external world relatives (won’t touch that part, by choice) and friends (lovely people who come to your life to make a change without knowing). Well I have not had many friends in life (please don’t count FB friends & acquaintances). I came across my first true friends when I was at school, unknowingly they became a part of my life. Discussing SRK to just any problems in our teenage life to our crushes, we could not stay away from each other for a day. We parted our ways on small issues, call it my arrogance or her childish behavior we didn’t talk to each other for years, I really don’t regret because it taught me the biggest lesson in my life never take things for granted. Today, we can laugh at it.

One of my friends asked me dude seriously how did you manage to be friends with that guy ever, he is just not like you and me. I just smiled and thought not like you, but yes some part of me is like him. The child in me wants to be like him doing the silliest things, show off how much I can eat and the way I can walk the ramp (none of you will ever see me walking down the ramp, ha ha). I just love the way a friend of mine calls me “Moto” every time I call him and I tell him dude I am not fat (at least not now) and the two of us would not leave any chance to pull the leg of our friend who I think has become a few inches taller by now and she would love it and the next chance we three get together has just to be even more fun.

Another thing which has been confirmed by two of my friends recently, I am a man’s soul trapped in a girl’s body, I know this is super sexist but truly I find it difficult to connect to most women. I feel all my girlfriends are like me, away from societal norms, have their own voice and I love each one of you for that. I have these friends who will do crazy things with me without the slightest thought of “why”, because the answer is known to both of us “because I just wanna do it”. Then not to mention I also have a friend who makes me think beyond what I thought I am (introspection aided).

I can keep writing about it with so many people who have made a difference to me in their own way, but either it would become too interesting or too boring (both of them are not good for sure). All the people I spoke about or didn’t speak about help me be who I am and make me learn more about myself every day. Thanks to one and all for being in my life.

Filling up the Grid!

Well you must be just thinking which grid I'm talking about right... the grid which defines me or you or anybody for that matter. Now, this might sound super confusing. I feel our life is like a matrix or a grid which has different aspects which makes us. Some people might have a matrix of 5X5 others might have 10X10, all these small portions of life makes us.

There are lot of people I come in contact in my day to day life, and believe me most of them are different from each other. Now, that is obvious you would say because you don't have a choice of the people who you come in contact with. But there are a few people you connect to and trust me if you introspect you will see they all are not the same kind of people. If I seriously put them in one room for a day some might just kill the other and some would just ask me how are you friends with the other. I was confused for sometime myself, but then I realized I have some part of me which is like the person in my life, so when all of them are there they fill up my grid. 

I feel all of us must have felt this at one point or the other, and with my little experiences in life I feel it is good to be versatile. Meeting different people helps you fill up the grid and in turn helps you complete yourself. It helps you hone your skills, eliminates or rather say help you work on your weaknesses. You also know who will be the right person to be with at the right time, like in a time of a crisis you will figure out who can pull you out of it easily. Conscious efforts of understanding the people around you will not only help you understand them better but it will help you look within yourself and work on yourself.

A person you love (might be your parents, friends, lover or just anybody) is not always perfect, neither are you to them. Instead of looking for perfection you should look for one's strengths and working towards their weaknesses. It took me a long time to understand and helped me look at people around differently and gave me more peace in life. It brings in a lot of positive energy from within.

Note: I have not yet attained salvation in life and don't plan anything like that in near future.