Being Sarcastic

When you are the queen of sarcasm and the one you are sitting with just feels it is funny because they didn't get it, know you are just wasting time. They will never understand and trust me if you try that you are wasting time (Time is precious). and yes the truth of life is you will have a very difficult life ahead because the jokes you crack are not for the common man. Just sharing FB posts will not help people appreciate sarcasm, I would say appreciate because I truly believe it to be an art to be possessed by only a few of us, it is a gift of God.

But like I said everything comes with a price... now when people don't understand what you say how do you tell them that they are stupid, no offence we find it difficult with most people around us and can't just help but post a smile. Then yeah we run because along with being sarcastic we are awesome runners, we run real fast. Then when you message me hi how are you, I reply with a smilie. You still don't realise and ask if we can meet then I have meetings & other errands to run or in fact I'm just out of town always. I wish I could just tell you straight that you don't understand me, but we know what is in store so we have learnt to just run. You really can't explain sarcasm, can you? And yes then there would be those moments when it just comes out because you have never spoken straight and all the eyes in the room turn to you. It is not awkward it is scary... And then you feel 'Kauno upar baithke hamar phirki le rha hai' (Don't say that loud, else you might just end up with more questions "are you OK" and it goes on).

But as said there are pros to being sarcastic as well, you learn to be quiet at those crucial times when you know opening your mouth is like firing a thousand bullets and you don't have that armour on. You learn to be patient as you come across many who don't understand a word what you say and yeah you can't run away always (the person might be your anyone, I don't want to name). I really didn't learn how to be polite and tell people that they are stupid, I was born to tell the truth if you can't hear it please understand from my silence. But when you come across those specially gifted people who understand what you say, its a blessing. Don't let them go for any phaaking reason because they are worth it. I met a few and pray to God that more intellectual beings are born to keep the race going, looking at the current scenario the race is almost about to be extinct.

How I met Aloo and Kaddu

This is a monologue delivered to Kids (pseudo ones of course, couldn't wait long enough to tell the story to the real kids)... Note: As this is a monologue, there might be errors (please ignore, don't bother telling me at all).

Kids that is how we met each other... A good story what say... 10 seasons to go, this is just the trailer
We start with aloo, chane ki daal n kaddu
So it was the first day of office for chane ki daal (till then didn't know that)....who met no one 😂😂😂
And then she found a travel partner, Potol
Potol n she became good friends and started their journey
But chane ki daal doesn't go alongside potol, sad but true, the essence is gone without the right sabji
Then is the superb entry of aloo... I mean aloo was always there but chane ki daal n aloo didn't want to make a good sabji... 

But then comes the twist...very intense case... Bhindi goes away leaving aloo alone (Nail biting)
Now aloo thinks whether potol or chane ki daal
But ideally chane ki daal was smart and old (read old as wise...)
So she got it all
Aloo was there with chane ki daal
Then ... Chane ki daal n aloo start making all sabji together
It was the curious case of aloo n chane ki daal
The other not so important sabji got jealous... green with envy they start talking amongst themselves
What was happening???? (A long silence)

Then aloo n chane ki daal decided to meet outside to talk
The sessions started outside the dangerous premises of bitching sabjis
It was fun but how long??? The bitching sabjis were all there but somehow aloo and chane ki daal survive it
Aloo potol and chane ki daal go out
And the whereabouts and the coordinates were not shared with anyone... It was a secret mission of the sabjis to make a novel dish...Mission accomplished even after all the hurdles in the way (We are still the OO7s)
Yeah forgot to mention...Potol was busy, vey busy... Ufff...Sambhar was always trying to make a mess in between all this
Aloo n chane ki daal wanted to go away... Run far away from the bitching sabjis
Mangalorean chicken curry was jealous of aloo n chane ki daal and started telling everyone about them even to the distant black begun...(Begun is brinjal for ease of understanding)
Begun was sickly thin with lot of seeds which will give u an itch in the throat
He was jealous and the seeds increased
The whole thing was difficult for chane ki daal
So finally aloo n chane ki daal decide to leave the place
They could have been just made into a tasteless sad paste
(sad music in the background)
Aloo decided to leave first because going together would mean more problem
Now life for chane ki daal was also to find a place to go nothing could change as said aloo had to go

But wait for it... Wait for it
Here is the entry of kaddu
Kaddu walks in....A few days before aloo went away
The walk of kaddu hit chane ki daal and she thought... that was it
Kids the moment of revelation was there... it was legen... wait for it..wait for it... dary... legendary
Chane ki daal met kaddu
Now kaddu is confused whether she should talk to aloo n chane ki daal or not... as u know she is kaddu, not much to be expected
But it was solved... she came to know that aloo n chane ki daal were going
As she is the spy... she got interested to know why they were going
Chane ki daal had not known then that she was getting a spy (To spy on people she didn't bother about)
But yeah then the sad day came... Aloo had to go

Chane ki daal is sad but happy...Picture abhi baki hai

Now chane ki daal is not left with any option but kaddu
Aloo gone potol busy
Yes chane ki daal is interesting smart n old (Read old as wise)
She makes kaddu think on how she should escape
But alas kaddu being her was a slow learner

But then comes the cruel sickly begun...Begun because he has no gun (gun= qualities)
The cruel begun goes for a revenge on chane ki daal
The poor girl didn't have any idea about the revenge
She was hit hard
The revenge..... Tarang tarang...
"Go go go" U r banished from the kingdom
Chane ki daal had nothing to say but to go
It was painful...Not to leave but to being asked to leave 😪
But being wise she took it as an opportunity
She left to a new kingdom and was happy
Now kaddu was left alone in the dungeon which they call the kingdom
(Saddd😪😪😪)
Aloo, chane ki daal n kaddu, they were now thrown apart
Very far from each other in 3 different kingdoms
But then we had technology called whatsapp Which kept chane ki daal in touch with her aloo n kaddu
She kept it alive and then because she is chane ki daal she self invited herself to kaddu's place
And also gets an invitation for aloo...See how enterprising (Wise people get these things easily)
Then the three ate n ate, talked n tallked
And then the group comes in... The sabji group
Yes in the meaanwhile aloo got herself banned from kaddu ka place..
Now they were left with no place to go... But then suddenly an idea struck like lightening, and as without brains and only width were kaddu and aloo they started making plans to meet at a dance class
Chane ki daal who is old and wise showed them the mirror they lived in different kingdoms far far away!!
But aloo is aloo doesn't give up on any sabzi and is thinking 💭 still...making plans

Well let's go on rewind
At kaddu's place we realized that chane ki daal has a Brio which is ideal for a long drive (don't think too much... read what happened)
And yeah did I tell u that we have a capability of being high on food
Well yeah food without alcohol can make us high we knew that when aloo n chane ki daal went for dinner
And I swear they were high...V high but wanted to go the drive
So, yeah they did go on the drive...Kids remember kaddu is kaddu so never rely on her directions because she knows none & you can end up nowhere
But we have aloo who can also be bhalu and did guide us only to realise we need to go back to our kingdoms... Cinderella's time was over and had to go back (Find Cinderella in the story & stepmother too)

Kids, this is how I met Aloo & Kaddu... and we are still thinking how to meet again... Kids what I told you is a true story so believe me when I say that make friends who stay close by, I am telling you with experience...

Courtesy Inputs: Soma aka Kaddu & Surbhi aka Aloo